Sunday, February 5, 2017

Out With The Flu

 Sorry to have been gone for a while, I am trying to get well from the flu. This is my take on it.

The flu is a highly effective method of weight loss. It also raises your temperature and heart rate, while reducing your appetite and food storage capacity. You will fight harder to breath than when climbing Mount Everest, and will burn body fat faster than the Boston Marathon. You will force yourself to take fluids like a prize fighter in training, all the while propped upon pillows, whether on couch or bed, feeling less energy than a limp noodle. This method of weight loss while effective however, is not one I can recommend, as its costs in tissue papers alone, is quite prohibitive, phlegm of course being its biggest by-product. You will develop also what I call trumpeters hack. A cough that starts in the low registers, but bellows out in the end louder than a chorus of coronets. This cough is habitual and pro-active, calling out in a monotonous and continuous fashion, mostly when trying to acquire some much needed sleep, or any manner of comfortable position.

Of course no weight loss program comes without pain, and this virus gives it in plenty. You will feel head pain like the worst migraine’s you ever had, add to that, joint pain like an eighty year old arthritis sufferer, the muscle spasm’s of a horse jocky in training, all to the tune of a lively ringing in your ears. If you are unlucky and cannot avail yourself of over the counter pain killers, such as myself, your only recourse is to hot packs, cold packs, hot showers, cold showers, often, but not necessarily in that order. I also have become addicted to chewing on peppermint Altoids, and eating my sons potato and chicken chowder, both of which were highly effective life savers. (The latter once you can again eat.)

You might ask what of Vicks Vaporub or other such liniments? Yes, these are effective, but sadly, yours truly has developed a serious allergy to eucalyptus, menthol, and other such ingredients, due to her last encounter and near death experience with said flu. So no cough drops and no common breathing relievers would avail. Thus the Altoids. I bless them, I sincerely do. Peppermint oil is your friend, when you can't think of anything else, think of peppermint. It made all the difference in my ability to breath and didn't seem to bother my stomach.

So in the final analysis, tho I have shed ten pounds in a week,  if you wish to lose weight, take up hiking, jogging, or any number of other wonderful exercise’s, but steer clear of people with the flu. My husband didn’t so now we are embarked once again upon this journey of recovery.

Be back soon.

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